Date #24: Mr Phlegm

So, it’s occurred to me that I haven’t posted in…. 2 years? Whoops. No, the reason wasn’t because I got swept up into a long term relationship, like most bitter dating bloggers (what do you think I am!? Dateable or something? HA). Actually, I got paranoid that someone I dated might read this and recognise themselves (ahem, MR MICROPENIS, I’m looking at YOU!) so tried to delete the whole thing. After reading it tonight though, I’m glad I didn’t because:

1) I’m funny as hell.

2) I occasionally get free stuff from this blog, in exchange for my dignity, of which I have none of to begin with. So… WIN-WIN!!

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Speed Dating Review: ‘We Click’, Melbourne

Review Stats:
Clientele: 4.5/5 (I walked away from this event feeling like I’d made a huge new group of friends. PLUS, we all witnessed one couple hook up afterwards so…success!).
Host: 5/5 (Couldn’t fault him; in addition to hosting duties he doubled as an “emergency wingman” on standby in case any of the dates wanted intervention! I don’t think anyone needed this, but it was good to know the service was there!).
Venue: 4/5 (A cosy bar off Flinders Lane. The Danish-themed finger food was exciting. Unfortunately, the speakers weren’t working so our background music was provided by the host’s phone in a glass- with a sound radius of about half a metre).
Overall: 4.5/5 (Tickets are well worth it, for $32 a pop- I think that’s cheaper than rival companies. The feel of the whole event was super relaxed and the attendees were easy to get along with. I LOVED that there was the option for matches to contact you on Facebook or Instagram, if we didn’t want to hand out our numbers. One area of improvement could be some encouragement of pre-event mingling, because it felt a little awkward right at the start).

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Date # (WHO KNOWS? I’ve messed up my counting system!): Mr Discount Prince Harry

I’ve Got the Feeling, he Needs ‘Textual’ Healing

It’s just occurred to me that I’ve totally lost count of the number and order of dates I have been on while in London, and scrolling through my past posts, I appear to have two “Date #6’s”. Whoops.

I have two moods when I go on Tinder: 1) Bitchy McBitch-face; where I solidly ‘Nope’ everyone, very, very fast, or 2) “I AM A GENEROUS GOD”. I’m sure you can imagine what the latter entails. I was in this particular mood when I said ‘Yes’ to Mr DPH. Don’t get me wrong, there was nothing particularly un-attractive about him. I do, however, have complex trust issues (solely thanks to Mr Crossfit and his blatant, flaming “I AM 6FT TALL” lie) and a general belief that Tinder pictures are these people AT THEIR BEST and most flattering. With that in mind, I’m not entirely sure what the fuck I was thinking when I ‘Yes’d’ him.

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Review: ‘Adventure Dating’ – City Swoon, Melbourne

Review Stats:
Clientele: 4/5 (there was a larger variety of people and occupations than previous experiences)
Hosts: 4/5 (played less of a role than traditional speed dating events, which was a good thing for this set-up. Their assistance with finding the dates varied between venues)
Venues: 4/5 (I loved the idea of changing venues, but it would have been good if each place had something different to offer- e.g., activities to serve as icebreakers at the first venue, and a dance floor post-event at the last stop)
Overall: 3.5/5 (While I loved the concept, the tickets are steeply priced if you miss out on the early-bird release (starts at $39, then $49 and $59 closer to the event, and includes two free drinks). So plan ahead and get in early! I’m also sceptical of the matching algorithms. With a few tweaks, Adventure Dating could definitely be on to a winner)

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Speed Dating Review: ‘CBD Mid Week Speed Dating’ – Singles Events, Melbourne

Review Stats:
Clientele: 3/5 (there seemed to be a …limited variety of guys)
Host: 5/5 (energetic, engaging and physically pulled groups apart to encourage mingling pre-event)
Venue: 4/5 (the food provided was excellent, but the bar itself was quite small and overpriced)
Overall: 3/5 (tickets were well-priced and it was a fun night with good food, however there was a relatively limited demographic of men. There was also nothing ‘special’ or different when compared with other generic speed dating events)

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I’m back!

Apologies for the…3 month(?) hiatus! I accidentally added one of these dates on Facebook and realised that I advertise the shit out of this blog on my profile. So my immediate reaction was to KILL IT ALL WITH FIRE. I did this while lying in his bed. IN A CROSSFIT TSHIRT. Awks. Anyway I have much to tell and I will do in good time. But this includes going on a dating show, where I got ‘match-made’ with a Foot Fetishist! I’ve also been on many, many more dates. Lucky you!


Miss M. Xx


Date #6: Mr Crossfit

‘Hot Cross(fit) Buns’

My Outfit: Leggings, singlet, hoodie and runners

His Outfit: Track pants, Runners and a CROSSFIT t-shirt, because did I know he does CROSSFIT? CROSSFIT!

Time: 5:30pm-10:45pm

Overall Rating: 8/10

According to Mr. C, he was a- 1) 6’0 2) Irish 3) Physio 4) Crossfitter Unfortunately for him, one of these characteristics was a blatant lie, and I’m not sure how he ever expected to get away with it.

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